About this course

Learning Objectives

• Describe how intimate partner betrayal affects the brain, relationships, trust, and attachment
• Identify at least three common therapist errors that can unintentionally reinforce mistrust after an affair.
• Explain how brief emotional “repair” moments work as micro-interventions in betrayal recovery, using client-centered examples
• Recognize the value of a structured betrayal-recovery model and what it means for long-term relationship repair

Learning Levels

• Beginner and Intermediate

Target Audience

Course Instructor(s)

• 

  Steven Dromgool, MCouns, MNZAC

  Steven is the Director of Relate Counselling and the only NZ therapist trained in the top five approaches to couples therapy and the lead author of Presence Oriented Relationship Therapy – an advanced integrated approach to working with couples. He has worked with couples for over 2 decades.

  His approach is to empower couples with tools to communicate effectively so that they can feel safe, loved, and desired. He has a special interest in working with couples preparing for marriage and restoring lost connections. Steven also runs full-day and multi-day intensive therapy sessions (email admin@relate.online). Working with Steven typically starts with an assessment to develop an action and progress plan and also to see if additional or alternate resources are required.

  Steven’s approach combines practical guidance and coaching in a warm and safe environment, along with teaching about the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ of building love. Steven also works with singles who want to prepare themselves to be in committed relationships or who are recovering from past relationship hurts. He is also very keen to work with couples preparing for marriage to help them avoid years of unnecessary pain and disappointment by building love well in the first place.

  Steven traveled around the world to train under experts including Harville Hendrix, John and Julia Gottman, Stan Tatkin, Maya Kollman, Ellyn Bader, and Peter Pearson. He has been actively involved in promoting and linking therapeutic and brain science insights to produce more powerful and integrated connection solutions. Steven led the Relate team in developing PORT (Presence Oriented Relationship Therapy), New Zealand’s first integrated approach to working with couples. His collaboration with other passionate international clinicians led him to be a contributor to HEART Humanistic Existential Approach to Relationship Therapy – the first evidence-based couples therapy training modality.

Disclosure

References

• Dillow, M. R., & Denes, A. (2022). Forgiveness for a partner’s infidelity. In T. DeLecce & T. K. Shackelford (Eds.), The Oxford handbook of infidelity (pp. 415–452). Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780197502891.013.22
• Fife, S. T., Gossner, J. D., Theobald, A., Allen, E., Rivero, A., & Koehl, H. (2023). Couple healing from infidelity: A grounded theory study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 40(12), 3882–3905. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231177874
• Ghiasi, N., Rasoal, D., Haseli, A., & Feli, R. (2023). The interplay of attachment styles and marital infidelity: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Heliyon, 10(1), e23261. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.heliyon.2023.e23261
• Irvine, T. J., Peluso, P. R., Benson, K., Cole, C., Cole, D., Gottman, J. M., & Schwartz Gottman, J. (2024). A pilot study examining the effectiveness of Gottman Method couples therapy over treatment-as-usual approaches for treating couples dealing with infidelity. The Family Journal, 32(1), 81–94. https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807231210123
• O’Rourke, V., McElvaney, R., & Kirrane, M. (2024). Grappling with infidelity: The experiences of therapists. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 24(1), 24–48. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2024.2391965
• Wu, Y., & Krueger, F. (2024). Charting the neuroscience of interpersonal trust: A bibliographic literature review. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, 167, 105930. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2024.105930